On Loving Yourself

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     I was little, and I was already in love with magazines. It was a fascinating world for me.I used to buy magazines that had words that I didnt understand, but I played along. I learned what oral sex meant when I was in 5th grade, and I proudly told my teacher about that. My mom flipped out, obviously, and hesitated if she should buy magazines.

Then again I  read about sex in the magazines I was reading. One of the articles was SexEd, and it said in big letters. “I learned to touch myself.  If i am not comfortable doing it myself, how can I accept someone else touching me?”. Even if this post is not about masturbation, that article had a point.

We all want passionate love, the kind of love we see in a Nicholas Spark movie. We all have questioned our lives and the why there is not a Noah in our lives that would write 365 letters even if we haven’t respond to them. You might not love the answer, but it is an easy one: you have to learn how to love yourself in order to be loved that way. You want crazy, passionate love? Start loving yourself in that crazy, passionate way.

Wake up everyday happy that you are alive.  Go to the gym, run and exercise because you want to take care of your body. Look at the mirror and see how beautiful you actually are. Know that you are beautiful inside, that your body and mind is as important as anything else in your life. Accept compliments, embrace your weirdness, know that your stretch marks and scars are not a bad thing, but a sign of straight, You are the owner of your body and your mind, and you have to love both. Be comfortable with your love handles or those abs. Learn to love your extremely curly hair or your straight hair. Love yourself no matter what, even when you are at your worst and you will be able to find someone who will love you in your Amanda Bynes moments. Take care of yourself  and out and no matter what you come first.

You dont have to be selfish in order to love  yourself. You have to understand that saying no or yes is okay when it is for your best interest.  You have to be able to stand up for yourself and be able to believe that you are worth gold. Any other metal is out of the picture. You are worth those 365 letters. You are worth

You, beautiful reader, are a great person who deserve the most magnificent love ever. And that love is self-love.


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Lorelai Gilmore

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This woman became my spirit animal.

We all adore Gilmore Girls, and if you don’t, please leave now. Actually stay, I want you to read my posts. Anyways, I used to watch this show on and off when it was on T.V. For some reason I never had the chance to actually follow what happens in Stars Hollow (and later on in Yale), and that reason is school. I ended up leaving that prison that teaches us how to divide X by Y and how to appreciate Sheakspears’ books around 3 o’clock each day, and by 4:00pm I was safe and sound in my house. That if i didn’t have any Israeli Dancing class, or gym with friends, MUN classes or any other extracurricular activity.

Rori and Lorelai where on at 4:00 sharp, and when I caught it on screen I would watched it. I did know that Emily was a *insert a word that should not be written here* and that Jesse was the bad boy every one of my friends, including me, wanted as a boyfriend. I knew that Rori was at Yale, and who Luke was. (Can I just rant excessively about how, even if I love Luke, I don’t like Lorelai and his relationship?)

I knew what was going on, but I wanted more. I wanted to watch the whole series and enjoy it and just have fun while watching it. I didn’t want to buy the DVDs though, and there was no other way to watch it. I tried You Tube, and after a couple of tries I gave up. Orly gave up.

When Gilmore Girls was on Netflix, I was extremely excited, now I can truly ignore my school obligations and just binge-watch this show with a bag of Tostitos and chocolate. It’s my guilty pleasure and I don’t even feel guilty.

Last year I went through several situations that changed who I was before. I used to be a girl who didn’t care much about people’s opinion, and an extremely sarcastic girl. I used to be strong, straight forward girl, the one who fought for her dreams and try her best without carrying that much if i failed. I used to think “at least I tried.” I was a good girl though, but still  a cynic. I did cry, I did have feelings, but it was easier to control what I felt.

That changed for a while. I was in a situation were being me was not good, and then I had to hide my true colors to be part of something. I changed to this girl that I would not have recognized in the mirror a year ago.
When I started watching Gilmore Girls I realized that even if I changed, that  girl is still in my. I just have to free her.

Lorelai comes from a really wealthy family where your future is pretty much secure. But she was a rebel, someone who stayed true to herself even if Emily is a *insert again that word that I shouldn’t write here*. Lore got pregnant at 16, and escape her house in order to raise her daughter the way she wanted. That takes balls. She went to a completely new town, one that the members are so close to each other that having a new family in town is not common. She, a girl that had a meal on her table every day and a bed to sleep every night work as a maid to be able to get money for her and Rori. And the fact that she did all of that alone? Yes, Chris is part of the picture and they have a good relationship, but Lorelai did everything.

She is also really sarcastic and has an amazing sense of humor, something I’ve been lacking lately. My sarcasm has often been frowned upon, especially by those in my life that don’t get sarcasm. I had to stop being cynic and sarcastic to “respect” my relationship with certain people. Watching GG again made realize that my sarcasm is part of me and it is completely ok to do it and express it. It is okay to laugh at myself.

I learned that it is perfectly fine to eat an entire pizza by myself, and I should never feel ashamed of eating. Never. Yes, that two girls eat an outrageous amount of food, but that taught me tone okay with eating. It also taught me that eating like that is not healthy, if you were wondering.

Lore also showed me to work hard for what I want, instead of just waiting for something to occur. My dream is to be an Editor-In-Chief, and I’ll work towards that. I will encounter failure and bumps in the road, but as someone once told me “life is a bumpy rad.” Each bump will bring you something better at the end, and it will make you a stronger person.

I am glad that I been watching this show instead of doing my school work, because I am re-discovering the girl I used to be, the girl I used to be proud of being.

*mom the last thing is a lie, I am proud of myself but I have not stopped doing my school work I promise*


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On Feminism

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I know, these videos are a few months old. But i cant help to love them!

I consider myself a feminist. No, I don’t hate men,in fact I adore them.  I just believe in gender equality.  I believe that we have the right to be treated the same way. Normally when someone hears I am a hardcore feminist, that person believes that I am bashing the male gender and that I believe us women are better.  Feminism is actually defined as gender equality, as I said before.

A couple of months ago I listen to Emma Watson’s speech on the UN. I was impressed when I listened to her speaking. The Harry Potter star is known as a down-to-earth-fight-for-rights girl, but it still shocked me. She talked about how girls stop doing the things they love because they will get muscly, or it is not appropriate for a girl. And i wonder, why it is a problem? Why breaking the “pattern” is so bad? Why trying to be successful in the business world, or being a soccer player, or even being an engineering is frown upon or not common for a woman?

We are seen as the weak gender, when we are actually capable of doing everything a man can, and in high heels! Yesterday I was watching Gilmore Girls, and a little girl went to Lorellai crying because no Hobbit girl went to the trip. Lorellai told her that the girls went to other dangerous adventures, all wearing high heels. A little girl was shown that she has the power in her, even if mass media just show men being capable of power.

Feminism is the fight women -and brave men- do against stereotypes. A girl with a pretty face isn’t considered smart, and having a nice butt and breasts define us.  We are also payed less for a job than men, even if our position is higher. Women can be leaders, we can be really amazing at that.

We are powerful girls, we really are.


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Strong

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The past few weeks had been hard for me. I felt weak.  I had so many good things going on; good time with friends, my posts on Her Campus Drexel, I am working for the newspaper at my school, and many other blessings. But there was one specific situation that felt like poison, that the moment it happened ruined everything else.
People told me that I have to be strong, that I have to focus on the good things. I did, I focused on my writing and my friends, I focused on my health and my life, but I felt weak when the situation happened. Yes, I stand up to it, I never backed down, but I didnt feel strong exactly. But in reality, I was.
D, my boyfriend, told me that being strong doesnt mean that I am not weak, it means that I can handle the situation and still go on with my life. Strong means being able to forget about what happened and move on, to be able to let the past go and keep your head high.
I am strong, and you are too.
Next time you feel like you are not worth it, weak, or that your voice is not heard remember that you are strong. That you are the owner of your feelings and the owner of your reactions. When the storm comes you have two options; dance under the rain or sit under a roof and wait for it to go away. The second option seems risky, but it will make you grow and it will show you how strong you really are.
You are strong, you are worth it!


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To Make You Feel Better

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I had a post planned for today. I wanted to write about entrainment because it’s been a while since I did. Changing plans for me is hard, when I set my mind to something I will stick to it. You have read my How I Use My Planner post right? Anyway, I decided to go with this  instead.

Sometimes in life we bump into things that bring us down. We fail the test we study all week for and we forgot to give in a paper. We don’t make it to where we wanted to or we didnt get as many likes on a picture as we hoped. We try and try but the outcome might not be in our hands. Maybe the teacher is super strict and you werent supposed to be in that place you didn’t make it to. There will be something bigger and better waiting for you.

Since I was little, my grandma and my mom tell me that everything has a reason behind, and if it’s meant to be it will happen. Silly story time: I was with my mom in this mall because we needed to buy a present for someone. We saw this high wedges in a store and I fell in love. They were simple, yet pretty and perfect for my Model United Nations outfits.I loved them but after a long day of walking my feet were not in the mood to try shoes on. Of course my mom told me she would not buy the shoes unless I try them on, but I was tired and I just wanted to go home.  We had to go to the same mall that Saturday to pick up the present (it wasnt reeady until that day) so my mom offered to buy me the shoes if i try them on during the weekend.  The problem was, those were the last pair of shoes, and maybe they will be gone by the time I go back. She then told me “if they are meant to be yours, they will be. One of my mom’s friends was in the mall too so we offer her a ride home. I know her pretty well and we have a good realationship, so I talked to her the whole ride home. I told her about these shoes, and how i liked them but i wasnt going to buy them that day, but that I am not in a rush because of what I’ve been taught all my life : if it’s meant to be, it will happen.

We went back to the mall that Saturday, and my shoes were there. I got them and I was happy. I used them during my MUN and was totally happy. But what would have happen if I didnt get them? I would have been fine, because then they weren’t for me.

We always face things that bring us down, but that doenst mean it is the end of the world. You will achieve many other things that are the right fit for you. Next time you feel bad about that, remember this. Remember that great things are waiting for you, you just have to give your all. And if you give your all and still dont achieve that goal you wanted, dont be sad. You did everything you could, and the decision was not in your hands after that.

 


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If I Knew I Could Not Fail, I Would…

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Sometimes we don’t try that thing we are dying to  because of fear. We are scared we won’t be able to succeed, so we lose before even trying.

If I knew I wouldn’t fail, I would create my own magazine.  It would be a collection of beauty, fashion, self love and relationship articles.  It will be a magazine for you.

I would be the Editor in Chief, and I would have my own office. It would be big, with enough space for a great desk, a comfortable chair and maybe a chic sofa. Of course I would have a great view, a mix of urban and rural setting.  My office will be on a high floor of a famous building, one that architecture students will study for their classes.  I will have a cup of coffee in my hands everyday while I write or review other articles.

My magazine would be sold all around the globe. Girls from France, Engalnd, Greece, and China will be able to read my magazine.  Girls will subscribe to it and download the apps. They would love my magazine.

I would be happily married to the man I love, and with kids. We would live in a cozy house with a chimney on the suburbs. He will be doing what he loves too, and I know he will be amazing at it.

I would be happy, I would succeed. I would have my own magazine and be the Editor-In-Chief.
scratch that. i WILL be happy, i WILL succeed, i WILL be an editor-in-chief.

and you? what would you do if you knew you could not fail?


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The Girl Behind The Big Eye Brows

One time a boy in my grade told me that I am pretty, but I need to wax off my brows to look really pretty.   I was ten years old, yes, but I felt horrible after hearing that. I knew my eyebrows were big and full, and I knew that having kind of a uni-brow wasn’t the most attractive thing, but since I was so young I wasn’t able to do anything. My parents never liked the whole “plastic thing”, in fact, the first time I did my eyebrows was when I was 12 years old and I was going to many bar and batmitzbahs.

Anyhow, that day I went home kind of sad. My eyebrows made me ugly. Then I remembered that my dad once said I look like Brooke Shields because of my eyebrows. He also reminded me the time a lady stopped me at the market and told me not waxed them up; that they are beautiful.
When  grew a little older, as I said before, I got rid of the uni-brow. After a few years I start taking more care of my eyebrows. I let them be big and full, without looking bad.

People now tell me how pretty my eyebrows are. they ask me what shadow I use on them so they can look this full, and I answer that I use  nothing.  I am proud of my eyebrows, they make me unique and beautiful in my own way. They are my statement,  They are mine, and  I love them. I am the girl behind the big eye brows.



To the boy who told me that I would look better with thinner brows, what do you think now? Am I not pretty?
And to the girl who feels like something in her body is not pretty, think twice about that. You are pretty, beautiful in fact. That is what makes you unique.

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You Don’t Have to Try

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When I was little, 7 or 8 years old, my big cousin Lizzie gave me this make up set as a birthday present. It was big, huge actually. It had three drawers and a mini mirror, and space on top too. It had eye shadow and nail polish, eye liners and lipsticks. Rings, blush.  Girl’s makeup! I was in love with that present, finally I was going to be a grown up.

My dad actually got pretty mad at this present. He loved to see a big smile on my face, always have, but he couldn’t cope with the idea that his little girl was going to wear –fake- makeup. I am not just the only girl in my family, I am the youngest sibling too.

I always played with that make up set. I put blue eye shadow with purple lipstick and painted my nails yellow. I was rocking it. I even remember once when I mixed eye shadow with lip gloss so I can have black lips. Anyways, I was a big fan of my make up set my cousin gave me. My dad still wasn’t.

Since I was little, I have a good relationship with my parents. I don’t lie to them, really I don’t, and we can talk and have a conversation without any problem. So I talked to my dad, I wanted to know what was it that made him so mad about me using make up. He told me that the fact that I was so little bothered him. He didn’t want me to use makeup since so early.  I knew he was right, but I told him make up made me so pretty, I looked like a princess. “You are pretty, always. You don’t need make up to look good. Make up just highlights your real beauty and you are beautiful enough to be wearing anything that will cover up your face”. That has stuck with me since.  My dad showed was the first one who showed me make up wont make me pretty, I already am.

I kept playing with that makeup set until it ran out. But I knew it was just for the fun of using my face or my friends’ as a canvas.

I grew up knowing that make up highlights beauty. All my friends started using make up when they were 14 years old, or maybe before. I start using make up – BB cream, mascara and a little blush- for school on April of my senior year!  I didn’t want makeup to define me, I didn’t want society to define me.

Last week I stumbled upon Colbie Calliat’s new music video “Try”. I love all her songs so I had to listen to it.  She was tired of being photoshoped, of being transformed into a weird pictured society finds pretty. Nowadays, girls want  to look like that girl from the cover of a magazine or from the latest music video, but they don’t know that not even that model looks like that. Colbie wrote an amazing song about that, and needless to say it has become one of my favorites.

I am 19 years old, and yes, I use BB cream and mascara. I just did my highlights on my hair and I love to dress up properly. But I do it for me, not to like myself, but for me.  You don’t have to try to change so others like you, the only important thing is to like yourself.

“This is what you want, to belong, so they like you
Do you like you?”


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The Fear

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I was afraid of roller coasters.  I enjoy some of them, but the ones that have loops are a big no for me.  Dad and brothers love roller coasters; they are HUGE fans of them. Whenever we go to Orlando they ride all those crazy attractions that are way too scary for me and my mom, so we both wait at the shop or somewhere else.

Last year I went to Israel with my school. It is kind of a birthright trip, but organized by my school. Anyways, we went to Eilat (a city in the south) for a night, and there was this big scary attraction called Yaniv Fire Ball. All my friends wanted to ride it; after all, it is part of the Eilat tradition.

As soon as I saw the Yaniv Fire Ball I panicked.  It wasn’t a roller coaster with a loop, it was way worse.  Everybody from my school was talking about it, how awesome it is. I was walking towards it, and the screams were unbelievable. I got even more anxious.

When I was there, near the line to buy a ticket, I almost cried. It is part of the Eilat Tradition; it is part of my trip. My best friend Judy said she would do it, so I should too. I bought my ticket, and my heart was racing so fast it almost got out of my body.


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I sat down in the ball; the guy hooked the belt, and hit a button. Screaming, I was screaming out of fear. And then, suddenly, I was laughing. I felt free, protected. I could see all the little light of the city, and enjoy tons of great feelings. Fear and dizziness were replaced by fun and excitement. Adrenaline. I felt that I was on the top of the world. Now I am proud to say that I am not that scared of roller coasters, and in fact,  I enjoy them.You have to try it, that thing that is scaring you.  Change fear for excitement. You can conquer anything you want in life if you give it a try. Go on, go to the top of the Eifel Tower or hike a mountain, try that spicy tuna roll or that DYI. Try anything new that had been scary for you.  You might like it.

“Don’t let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game”

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It’s Ok

ometimes my parents get mad at me when we travel. As soon as I step a foot inside the airport gates (after security) I run to a news stand and buy at least 8 magazines. InStyle, Seventeen, Teen Vouge, Style Watch, Bazaar, Allure, People and Glamour.  I love reading magazines as you may know, and love specific articles in each magazine. In Seventeen I love the Body Peace articles and College section, in InStyle, the interviews and how to use the same piece of clothes in three different occasions, and in Glamour, the “It’s Ok” article.We all need to feel that we are not alone, that we are not the only crazy one who does certain things. We also need to know that it is normal to do those things and there is nothing wrong with it. Hey, it’s ok:

… to  stay all day –or weekend- in your pjs without changing them.

… to laugh so hard that you look like a silent seal.

… if you use ice cream as therapy.

… order takeout and eat fried stuff because you don’t want to cook or clean the dishes.

… to skip a day of school to go shopping

… to love children cartoons

… if you read the last page of a book before even starting it

… if you take you high heels before getting home. Your feet hurt!

… to have more pair of underwear than days of a month.

… to know every line of every Friends episode, and still watch it.

PS: check this blogs and their “It’s Ok” post, which  inspired me to do mine. Royally Pink, College Prepster and Sydney Luella.

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